2011 was very good to me, for one very special reason. I hope to continue 2012 with that special reason. <3
I can never tell how anyone feels about me. I don’t want to bother them for constant reassurance, though. And then I get sad, because I never know how they feel about me and assume the worst.
It’s easy to think that everything was good up until a specific event. It’s easy to long for what you had, to think about how much you loved something and now it’s gone. One of the hardest things to do is to realize that something you loved is never going to return. It’s even harder, still, to accept that it’s never coming back.
Maybe you broke up with someone, and you’ve been thinking about how much you miss them and how much fun you had with them. You only remember the good times you had, not how miserable you felt waiting for them to call or text you, sulking when they ignored you, or feeling worthless when they would rather hang out with someone else. You only remember how happy you were when you held their attention.
The most difficult thing is to look forward, when you feel your past is so great. It’s also difficult to focus on the present, since what you want is not what’s in front of you.
Just remember that although your past may seem perfect, it wasn’t. Nothing will ever be perfect, but you can still be happy with the imperfections. You just have to find the happiness in everything you do have in front of you.
I never thought I would miss anything about USD, just because when I got here it was a huge culture shock moving from a public high school to a private university. I wasn’t used to it, felt extremely uncomfortable, and lonely. But one thing I will miss about USD is Bert’s Bistro. I don’t know why, but it gives me a comfortable, homey feeling. Last year, between my sculpture class and painting class, I had two hours to kill so I’d always come to Bert’s and get a soda and go online or do homework. This year, I don’t have time in my schedule to sit down and do homework or go online at Bert’s, but my class was canceled today so that’s what I did, for one last time. :(
